Yes, I'm just a girl!

Writing a blog after so many days makes me realize how much I have missed it. Having many topics in mind, I took time in deciding on what to write. But then it just struck me, something that has kept me furious for a long while. All the mishappening that falls on females in this so-called god's country. 

Yes, I'm just a girl. I have big dreams and all I want is to be a successful doctor. Fortunately, my parents are very supportive and have always provided me with the best. Serving people have always been my perfect job. I am happy. Now, my mother's only wish left is to see her daughter get married to someone worthy. My uncle shows my parents a businessman having good family and reputation. Seeing my parents happy I'm willing to marry him. Nothing can go wrong. Nothing will be wrong.

(What should I tell my parents? How will I live with this monstrous beast? Getting whipped daily is not tolerable now. I'm my daddy's brave daughter. Enough is enough. I manage getting out of the house to buy vegetables and sneak into a telephone booth. My mom is very happy to hear my voice after such a long time. She can feel the terror, helplessness and pain in my voice. She knows I want to come back home. But instead she tells me to sort out things with my husband! I thought I was always welcome back home. To my home. Was I mistaken? What will I do? Where will I go? Wait, maybe mother is right. I should try solving disputes with my husband. Nothing is changing. It doesn't matter now. I'm used to it. Its just a routine. I can adjust. I will, always.)

Yes, I'm just a girl. I love being at home. Surely, I have the best parents who allow me to do whatever I wish. I have my 16th birthday coming. There will be party, guests, gifts. It's all so exciting. Damn I can't wait now. Soon I'll have to go away from home for my further studies. How will I stay away from my house?

(I'm never going back home. I miss my mother and my father. But no, I can't go home. What if it happens again? What if my mother doesn't hear me this time? No no I can't do this. But what do I tell my dad. He surely doesn't want his daughter to be away from home during the vacation. Not telling anyone anything at home is important, mummy says. If the elders come to know there would be disturbance in the family. But how do I forget it? Mother says I'll be blamed. I'll be responsible. But I haven't done anything wrong. How could I ever forget what my cousin has done to me? How will I ever come back home and sleep peacefully?)

Yes, I'm just a girl. It's my sister's marriage next month. The shopping is fun and all the new jewellary kept me dazzled. The best part is that my sister is very happy. It all looks like a happily ever after! 

(Aunt says he is not mentally stable. But I haven't seen him even once. How did father decide this for me? Have I done something wrong? My mother says this is important or else no one will marry me. Is it because my sister's husband died in just a month after the marriage. Why is she blamed for it? How on earth can they treat her badly when she had no hand in it? But father understands this. Even mother does. Still I have to marry some guy in his 30s when I want to study more. Is reputation more important than my life?)

Yes, I'm just a girl. Afraid to go out by myself now. Not able to trust anyone. I keep wondering how at every second there would be some girl molested at school, some wife being tortured by her in-laws and husband, some mother seeing her baby girl being killed in front of her. Yes, I'm just a girl whose parents are always worried if I return back on time from tuition and classes. They are concerned if the society would suddenly push dirt on their daughter without her fault. Is there any form of government, any body of individuals, any god even who could scare this evil-minded society away from the innocent? Is there any place, be it home, school, workplace, where we can feel safe? Yes, I'm just girl, who is now not able to even ask other women about their stories, unable to go through the newspaper as every page as a story of daughter-in-law burned into ashes, 5 year old raped, son killing his mother for money and what not. 

Yes, I'm just a girl. Nothing will be able to harm me now. This is a message to every female out there. No one can protect you but yourself. It's time now, when you need to show the world that the duppattas are now going to be knots to tie anyone to death if required, the knives that used to cut vegetables are sharpened to cut any hand that is pointed at you, veil are now going to turn into armours  Our life and self-respect is more important than any religious belief, reputation, greed or even societal principles. It will end only when we want it to. Trust me, it has to be soon. The bangles in our hands are not hand-cuffs, and are to be removed the very moment they turn into one. 

Yes, I'm just a girl. I'm proud to be one!

   

Being a hostelite

Finally with the new year 2013, I just have my last four months in hostel. Time flies, yes surely, but I'm glad these three years are the most unforgettable years of my life.

Sitting in my hostel for the first time on the 31st night and writing a blog sounds bad, but it isn't. I have some crazy friends screaming around in here, mad at me as I sit in front of my laptop. But this was a blog I started in 2012, and I wanted it to be over before 2013. Now, getting back to my hostel, everyone is just ready to scream out the moment the clock strikes 12. All we want is an occasion to celebrate. We wait the same way when there is a birthday coming. At 12, we would start singing the birthday song and carry the cake, many times the special cake, to the special person(special cake at times, as being human we forget birthdays and have to prepare some last moment cakes). My favorite one being the hide and seek biscuit cake or the bread and jam cake!

Perhaps living in a hostel would help you learn hell load of things. Firstly, how to share your things. Things means anything and everything. Your mug which was gifted to you by your school friends, or the new jeans you got from the sale just last week. It wouldn't matter whether the shoes are your favorite, your friends can wear them whenever and wherever they want. But don't take this in the negative side, you yourself can choose from the variety offered, and sometimes not offered to you. Second, you learn to make your own decisions. Being at home would not even let you decide the dinner daily, but in hostel, there are far more important decisions you need to make. And trust me, you do manage to do well with the decisions. Next, you finally learn to differentiate between what is right and what is not. Yes sometimes you like the wrong things slightly more and find them attractive, but mistakes would just help you learn more.

Maggi! How did I forget Maggi! It is the most essential element of hostels. We want maggi for each and everything, whether we are watching a movie, studying, surfing net, gossiping or whatever. But there are many more things we cook. Well, Ill tell the truth, my roommate cooks. She can make rice, noodles, upma, soup and what not. Most of the times, there would be too many cooks and double the number of hoggers who would finish it off in just 2minutes. I have no idea how much I am going to miss all this when I am out of this heaven. You will find enemies helping each other and besties breaking each other's bones. This is exactly where the fun lies.

Hostel is a family in itself. You have a friend who would fight with you like your elder brother does, another would love to share all the secrets with you just like a sister. One would scold you whenever you are out partying with the wrong guys just like your dad would have and there is a friend who would make sure you are not left alone even for a minute when your sick, like a mother does. So basically, you do miss your family in hostel. At the same time, you are a member of another beautiful, but a younger family. Sadly I won't be able to write more as my friends have been waiting for me since midnight. They refuse to even enjoy without me as the new year begins.

So now, just a final thing, these three years of freedom and responsibility have made me what I am today. Now, no longer I'm afraid to step into the outside world, as I know I am ready and heading towards the right path!

Cheers!!!
And a happy new year!

Tale Of Two Cities

Too much can change in a span of two years. I still feel it was just yesterday when the day began with a sweet kiss from mom and a tight hug from daddy. Looking in the mirror today I find a complete different person who, with the new city, has evolved in a complete new version.

"Where would you prefer living, Salalah or Mumbai?" Every person I came across has this question for me and I still cant figure out what the right answer would be. One city reminds me of the nostalgic childhood days and the other city teaches me to stand head and shoulders above the crowd. Sixteen years in the Sultanate of Oman made me a lot like one of its city, Salalah! The not so very busy city made me calm and composed. Every morning would be fun time with friends at school and each evening turned into family celebration. Finally the day came when the school fun ended and I had to shift to know life better. Bidding farewell to parents was the most difficult thing i had to do I believed. That wasn't true though. It was not until the flight took off that I realized I would no longer have the same way of life again. It all had to end so quick! From the heavenly city of Salalah, I flew to the vibrant city of Mumbai.

CHAOS! Nothing would describe the city more than the term chaos. I was too slow for this never resting city. Mumbai started its tortures once I was all set to start with my graduation. New city, new hostel, new college, new people, new lifestyle and obviously new currency. Among all the new, there was only one thing still old. I was still the same shy, not so very confident and quiet girl. Flowing along the crowd was the first challenge. Lessons of life started with the advent of my hostel life.

Friendly people is the plus point of this new city. But the problem comes when you want some work to be done. The very first lesson of life started with the second day at hostel. Getting a permanent room in the hostel was more difficult than getting a house in Salalah. Visiting the office a dozen times only got me into another temporary room. After moving to three different rooms I was finally allotted a not-so-very clean room. I was even confused whether to tell the truth about me being an NRI as it may give people an urge to bully me. But they digested the fact without any trouble and I was all glad about the place. Soon the drama started. It is a selfish world after all. Understanding people was a difficult deed. Those whom I thought would be great friends proved me wrong and the others who didn't even exist for me came ahead to help. Some were manipulative and had me nodding when they wanted. A few others smiled only when they wanted help. All I did was learn from each and every person I came across, be it bad or good. Solution to each problem was ignorance. Such a bunch of people was not something I was very familiar with back then.

Finally, Mumbai was successful to completely spoil the innocent girl who had landed here two years back. She now knows that no one can decide what she wants to think or speak. The hesitating student was gone for good leaving behind a more confident version who wants to make a new mistake everyday. The shy new junior in hostel became one of the popular seniors who would not be messed up with. Fake smile was no more difficult. Crowds became a habit and swearing just a way of speech.

Both the cities have had their impact on me and have moulded me in different ways, channelizing my thoughts of simplicity and independence together. It is famously said when in Rome, do like the Romans. In my case, I was more influenced by Rome than by the Romans. Even Today, I try to be calm like before, but not taken for granted. I stay quite when the situation is not right, but make my point when ever I get the chance. Finally, it is adjustment that I prefer, not compromise!

Cheers to the cities!!